So you're mad about something on the Internet
Professor Internet (along with loldwell.com and systemcomic.com) presents:
What!? This is: a) Wrong; b) dumb; c) super-wrong; d) Not what I think.
* (And therefore dumb, wrong, and super-wrong).
Level 1: The high road
Duck rating: None.
- Do you have anything better to do?
In fact, no!
Yeah, I guess i should check on that sandwich / dog/ baby I have.
Professor Internet says: Just walk away! Anything you do now is a better use of your time.
Level 2: Middle ground
Duck rating: 1.
- Did you thorough read and assess the situation?
- Are you going to comment anyway?
Yes, I'm better than reading!
- Then why are you still here?
I've just got one point I need to make, then I'm washing my hands of this whole thing.
- Professor Internet says: Bravo!You made it out relatively unscathed! Now eat a sandwich and chill the fuck out.
Level 3: The low road
Duck rating: 2.
- Are you trying to make things worse?
Nope! I just like arguing.
- You need help!
Your mom needs help.
Please, this is all I have.
- Professor Internet says: fair enough. If leaving a comment for the sake of commenting is how you get your clicks, so be it.
"Some commenters just like to watch the world burn".
Level 4: Slurring slums
Duck rating: 3.
- How does that even make sense?!?
Your gay face doesn't even make gay sense.
- You know what? I give up, have fun.
F**k you! You're worse than (insert 1-10 Hitlers).
Yes! I won an argument on the Internet! Winning groin thrust!
- Professor internet says; Nothing has changed. welcome to the purrgatory of the Internet.
Level 5: Insult inferno
Duck rating: undefined (dickfinity).
- Abandon hope, all ye who comment here.
Congratulations. You're a huge dick!
Remember, if you're arguing on the Internet, you've already lost. The next time something online's got your ire up, keep a cool head and just chill the fuck out and eat a sandwich/
By H. Caldwell Tanner (Loldwell.com / @caldy) and Rosscott Nover (SystemComic.com / #Rosscott)