The Seven Types of iPhone Owners
Which Type Are You?
- Over 70 million iPhones sold and growing (iPhones sold in millions): AT&T iPhones 73.7 million sold; total AT&T 92.8 million subscribers; Verizon iPhones go on sale Feb. 10, 2011; total Verizon 93.2 million
Historical iPhone sales (2007 ~ 1 million; 2008 ~ 4 million; 2009 ~ 27 million, 2010 ~ 43 million; 2011 ~ 70 million).
AT&T, predicted sales (2011 ~ 70 million, 2012 ~ 80 million).
Verizon, predicted sales (2011 ~ 70 million, 2012 ~ 180 million).
As we look forward to the launch of the iPhone Verizon (previously, it was only available through AT&T), we decided to look back at the impact iPhone has had in our society. Upon such reflection, we realized that, over
the last 4 years of iPhonedom, several different types of users have emerged:
- The Fanboy. The Fanboy is excited about everything Apple. He owns every previous version of the iPhone, and frequently posts on Mac rumor forums. He proudly wears an Apple t-shirt, bought off eBay from a
disgruntled former Genius Bartechnician, so often you suspect he's not laundering it in order to prevent it from fading. The Fanboy blames any and all problems on AT&T, and is fully prepared to scapegoat Verizon as well,
- The Unappreciative. This particular iPhone owner got the phone because it was trendy and/or on sale when she renewed her AT&T contract She's not fully aware of the raw computing capability in her hand, and probably
wouldn't care anyway. The Unappreciative has never bought an app, doesn't use a case, and complains about how big the phone is. She misses her Motorola Razr.
- The Overuser. Unlike The Unappreciative, The Overuser uses his iPhone to the full extent he can. In fact, he's always on it, to the degree that it's difficult to hold a conversation. He dropped $50 on a bulky, toilet-proof
case, and downloads apps out of sheer boredom. He dresses up as Angry Birds for Halloween.
- The Desk Job. This guy also owns a Blackberry, from which he simply can't cut the cord. He carries both phones around with him, and mainly uses the iPhone as a sweaty, glorified iPod at the gym. His corporate job
pays for the phone plan, so the extra $100 a month for a phone he never makes calls on doesn't phase him, (which drives the Fanboy nuts). Optional: walks around with in-ear bluetooth.
- The Hacker. The Hacker can't be constrained by things like "Terms of Service" or "The FCC". She jailbroke her iPhone the day she got it, and uses it to do things like remote start her car and turn her neighbors' TV on
and off from across the street. She's long since cut off AT&T and makes free calls from Skype via Wi-Fi instead of using a phone plan. She tries to convince the Fanboy to also jailbreak so he can tether to his laptop, but
he's too scared to do it.
- The Senior Citizen. No one's really sure how this guy ended up with an iPhone. He has to hold it really far away from his face to use it, and types at 1 wpm. You wonder why this guy has a cell phone in the first place, and
especially cringe when you hear the default iPhone ringtone play ceaselessly from his jacket pocket while he tinkers with his hearing aid.
- The Complainer. This guy does nothing but whine about the iPhone, from the touch keyboard to censorship, to Steve Jobs' sweaters. He tells people he's getting an Android as soon as his contract is up, and gets mad
when he sees the Senior Citizen using it incorrectly. He's probably going to get the next iPhone anyway.
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Which Type Are You?