People are turning into zombies and consuming flesh without thinking. It's become an epidemic. Your life and the lives of BILLIONS of others are at risk! Lucky for you, we've got everything that you need to survive the attack.
THE ZOMBIE VIRUS
The zombie virus is contracted through the ingestion of any kind of flesh—whether it is human, cow, chicken, pig, or fish flesh. Those infected with the virus have been known to experience slowing of the brain and loss of common sense. Unquestioned faith in consumer propaganda is
- high cholesterol
- heart disease
- bad skin
- disregard for sentient beings
- salmonella and E. coli poisoning
- addiction to eating flesh
- loss of cognitive thinking
CAUSE of ZOMBIE OUTBREAKS
- misinformation about where flesh comes from 90%
- ambivalence (aka being a jerk) 5%
- unknown 5%
TREATMENT: GO VEGAN!
HOW TO IDENTIFY A ZOMBIE
Spotting a zombie can be a difficult task, # Unresponsive to communication as many of them look and talk just like us. Caution and common sense are always the rule when a nonzombie attempts to & Blinded by meat industry propaganda identify a zombie. The following is a list of
things to look for when the presence of a flesh-eater is suspected:
PLACES TO AVOID:
Meat and dairy aisles at grocery store
Restaurants without vegetarian options
- Decomposing and acne-ridden skin
- Desire to eat the flesh of the living
- Fleshy protruding belly
5 STEPS TO ZOMBIE SURVIVAL
Sign the pledge to go vegan and save yourself from becoming a zombie.
KNOW THEIR STRATEGY.
Flesh has protein. Argil!
All zombies use the same weapons to justify their flesh-eating ways. To avoid infection, familiarize yourself with some of their typical weaponry.
Learn the facts about what zombie flesh diets are doing to animals, the environment, and human health.
Stock the fridge with fruits and veggies! Fruits have antioxidants that fight off zombie zits. Veggies have vitamins and nutrients that give you energy and keep you slim. Build your muscle with protein from beans, nuts, and grains such as rice and oats.
REMEMBER THERE IS SAFETY IN NUMBERS.
Join forces with other survivors. Rally other friends who have survived the attack and be sure to help others. Share the pledge, share the video, and take any friends that may be on the fence out to a vegan meal before it's too late!
ZOMBIE FOOD CONVERTER
The following foods have proved to be quite effective at quelling outbreaks:
MOCK KIDNEY beans
FAUX FAT: vegan cheese
FAUX INTESTINES: chorizo
MOCK RIBS: vegan riblets
COW’S MILK REPLACEMENT
FAUX LIVER: hummus
FAUX BLOOD: grape Juice
MOCK BBEAST: seitan
MOCK LIMBS: vegan buffalo wings