Using Body Language To Be More Attractive
Why body language is important:
- Words account for only 7% of our overall effective communication while body language accounts for 55%.
- Hold their gaze to create the sense of a romantic connection: 1) 8.2 seconds, is how long it takes for a person to register that there is a romantic connection; 2) 4.5 seconds, is the average length of a gaze where there's no connection.
- Lifted eyebrows is usually considered flirting in America. But don't raise your brows in Japan, where it is considered rude.
- Say cheese! A crinkly-eyed smile or a "Duchenne' smile are the smiles that people perceive as the most genuine.
- Look head-on when gazing in someone's direction.
- Don't expect a potential sugar daddy to stare you down. The rich are too busy to maintain eye contact and are more likely to disengage when initially meeting someone.
- Gaze often during a conversation as each successful romantic gaze makes the sense of connection stronger.
- Gives a vibe of vulnerability and openness. Lean forward or backwards slightly, not side to side.
- Crossing legs toward partner, touching partner conveys interest.
- Closed posture is a body position that covers the throat, stomach and genitals, the three parts of the body most susceptible to injury.
- Open for anything... An open body position sends the message that you're interested and comfortable with the other person, which makes them feel more relaxed and interested in you.
- Trunk lean: 1) Individuals who engage in forward trunk Leans increase the verbal output of their interactional partner more than those who do not; 2) Individuals tend to engage in more sideways-leans when interacting with lower-
status than with higher-status individuals.
- The o.5 second smile (attractive, trustworthy, non-intrusive). A "smirk", is a quick smile lasting under 0.25 second, and is perceived as fake, same goes for a smile over 1.0 seconds.
Body space & volume
- Start a conversation at the appropriate social distance (see chart) and then close the space between you to approximately 23 inches during the conversation to create a sense of intimacy.
- Get in close... not too close (keys: type of encounter; distance; voice volume): 1) Type of encounter: Highly personal, seldom used in public; Distance: Close (8 in. to 12 in.); Voice volume: Audible whisper, very confidential;
2) Type of encounter: many dyadic social interactions occur; Distance: Near (12 in. to 36 in.); Voice volume: Indoors, soft voice; 3) Type of encounter: Most social gatherings and business transactions; Distance: Neutral (41/2 ft.
to 5 ft.); Voice volume: Outdoors, full voice; 4) Type of encounter: Business and social discourage more formal. Desks in offices are placed to hold off visitors; Distance: Public distance (51/2 ft. to 9 ft.); Voice volume: Full voice with
slight over loudness; 5) Type of encounter: Used by teachers or speakers at public gatherings; Distance: Across the room (8 ft. to 20 ft.); Voice volume: Loud voice talking to a group; 6) Type of encounter: Public speaking by
public figures; Distance: far distance (20 ft. and more); Voice volume: Hauling distances, public-address.
- Wear your ring: Women like men more who are already attached. 2009 study at Oklahoma State University found that: 1) 59% of women were interested in the "ideal" single man; 2) When told the same "ideal" man was already in a
romantic relationship, the number of interested women shot up to 90%.
- How to appear confident and dominant to women: 1) Sitting non-symmetrically. Body is arranged rather unbalanced and may appear nonchalant attitude, such as legs on a table, hand in your pocket or under his jacket, etc; 2) Sit
down first. A person of lower status typically sit's second, usually also asks verbally or with their eyes for permission; 3) Spread out. A person who is weak typically takes up less space, for example by, crossing his legs, holding your
elbows close to the body, etc; 4) The happy go-lucky type is seen as less sexually attractive to women, while men who seemed borderline pompous or brooding and moody, are seen as attractive. We suggest going for an Uncle Jesse
from Full House vibe, where you may seem like the bad boy, but are actually a decent human being.
- Girls rule: A study on heterosexual singles revealed that men copy or "mirror" women's body language when they are attracted to the woman. So if you want to know how you stand with him, shift positions and see if he follow suit.
Sources: http://www.robertphipps.com/articles/body-language-facts-and-stat-s.html; http://news.softpedia.com/news/Love-at-First-Sight-Means-8-2-Seconds-of-Eye-Contact-107667.shtml; http://www.newscientist.com/article/
dn12886-eye-contact-and-a-smile-will-win-you-a-mate.html; http://webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com/love/package.jsp?name=fte/bodycues/bodycues; http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/slow-smile-attracts.php;
11/021122073858.htm; http://chicagopsychology.org/mm/body-language-attraction; http://www.soapboxorations.com/donnellking/nvcom2.htm; http://akhost.chacha.com/chacha.com/infographics/attraction.pdf;