WHAT FOOTBALL TEAM SHOULD I ROOT FOR?
I prefer my sports teams to be even more dysfunctional than my personal life
I would be proud if the face of my franchise were a bunch of fat old jerks who got together to toast the failure of others every year
If I could un wedge my fat butt from this seat, I'd kick your tail
If I steal a team from your city. I'm going to do it in the most painful way possible
Anyone who said 'salad' should be punched in the face
Let it go already
Or I'll just pull this Glock out of my sweatpants and—oh. crap!
I long for the good days, when our losses really meant something
I have met John Elway, and you. sir. are no John Elway
You want dysfunctional7 My team signed the QB of its decades-long rival and no one batted an eye And don't get me started on all the retiring and the texting
Our losses were never that important
Uh, 111 call you
I’d rather win occasionally
I’m afraid of clowns
Yes. and I'm an Osbourne
Wanna go to a game? I'll have tickets in 2027
2027? How did you score them?
Food item from my city that could also describe my quarterback
What football team should I root for?
I was once a member of the band Gwar
If I had to
I want to root for some really expensive busts. Every year
There’s a football team in my city?
My facial hair most resembles that of
People hate me already anyway
I occasionally have to be reminded that there’s a professional football team in my city
I feel like a team should wait a few decades to see if it's leaving town before coming up with a logo
I'd rather be watching baseball
Bucket full o' grits
Barbecue the way it's meant to be dry
Win or lose I am willing to cheer for a despicable human being.
No. but I wish other people would go to the game so I could watch it on TV
What's at the tailgate?
Honestly. I'd be happier if I didn't follow sports at all
When can I go hiking
With more gnts.
Barbecue the way it’s meant to be wet
Whatever team ends up in LA